Friday, 1 February 2008


I honestly can't believe it's Friday. Again. Surely not? Ugh. Another week gone. Oh and a new month. Happy February everyone! Well, if nothing else it means the count down to seeing my daughter is going faster than I thought.

Jenni, my precious only daughter (20yrs), has been living in New Zealand for the past year and to say that I miss her is an understatement. It's been an interesting time without her. This time away from each other has probably done us both the world of good. You see, I did something really silly. When I left my ex-husband, my twins (Jenni is a twin) were still living at home. And I left them. I thought it would be ok. There was a lot going on apart from the divorce, I was also really ill with anaemia - whole other story. Anyway, I moved out and lived with my sister for awhile and then I moved 300 miles away. I look back on that time and I know I needed to be away from everyone and everything. I was just so exhausted and completely mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I was on the verge of a complete breakdown.

But my babies needed me and they missed me. And I do regret that part of my life so much. Leaving them. I'm not making excuses but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing for at that moment in time. I can't change it now. I have to move on. And I have. And I know Jenni has. My leaving impacted her so hard. I see that now. She had an opportunity to go to New Zealand and I think it was the best thing she did. But it was for a Season. Just a time. Time to heal. Time to reflect. My children still have a lot to face. Their father (my ex) is transgendered - for those that may not read my blog on a regular basis. So it's hard on them and confusing even though they are all young adults.

Anyway, so Jenni is coming home. And I can't wait. She has been so badly missed by so many people. Not least of all me. Ugh!

I did a layout of my niece Madison creating a "miss you" card for her cousin (they are very close even though there's a huge age difference). It's for Jenni. It's for Maddy. It's for me and for my sister (Maddy's mum). I've decided that I'm going to put all my layouts in photo books. They are so much cheaper and so beautiful in that format. I'm also putting some of them on canvas - for gifts - also for me! :)

I created this layout using a new digi kit that I finished this week. I need to upload it to my store at the weekend. Which brings me to the word prompt for Her Space | My Space. I really laughed when I saw the word - string - I'd just finished scanning some string for my digital scrapbooking kits! ha! Perfect timing really. So that's what I took a photo of. Not the best photo in the world technically but it is string in my space today!

Ok - hope you all have a fabby Friday! x


Suzie said...

OMG, you have just brought tears to my eyes! I hope things go well when Jenni comes home. It's obvious you love her deeply!
Oh, and fab photos too xx

Maz said...

Hey girl you got a lot of guilt- as we all probably do. Remember that what lies behind us and ahead of us are small matters compared with what lies within us now. Anyone can see that you are a great mum, yet none of us are infallible. You and your daughter will be fine.
PS like the string.

Maz said...

PS sorry, I sound really preachy! x

Leigh said...

Time heals all wounds! Y'all have been through so much! Wow!

JanMary said...

Great shot, love the reflection.

Glad your daughter is coming home.

20Birds said...

long time no visit to your blog, oh diane i too have made some huge choices that seemed so right at the time and now i dont know...but God sorts it all out...and he makes up the years that the locusts stripped away ....that is a promicse from the book of joel for you...

lukasmummy said...

(((((hugs)))) we all do things that in hindsight we regret it's all part of being human. Hugs Crystal xx

Rach said...

Love the shot x

Hope things go well when your daughter gets home xx

JACKIE M said...

Thats a lovely layout and great string photo =0)

I am happy for you that you are being reunited with your Daughter again =0)

Aubrey Harns said...

AMAZING SHOT! Really wonderful photo.

Marina said...

I bet you are missing your daughter, it will be lovely when she comes home, don't beat yourself up what has happened in the past, live for the future. Love the pic. Marina :~)

Sarah said...

Love the string shot, great angle and reflection :-)

etteY said...

all the best for you and your daughter :)

lovely string shot :)

Kutnkudlys' Kreations said...

oh wow! What a life you have had, and I understand the difficulties you have faced in relation to not being around your kids, that's a toughie, but your kids will understand and love you nonetheless! You're MOM!!!

Hope you have a great day hon, and I'm glad your DD is coming home!
My son is Iraq, so I understand the separation part to a tea!

Rachael said...

I love the string shot the colours are fab. Hope all goes well with your daughter. x

jj said...

Ah mum this made me cry heaps, in a really good way! I can't wait to come home and be with you all once again, the time away was necessary (as I can now understand it was for you, too), but now it's just... time to come home now.

33 full days left of work to go, but about 7 weeks in all. I'm counting down.

Give big hugs to Maddy, I'm so excited about seeing her and the babies again!

Love you loads x

Sue Nicholson said...

My Mum left my Dad. We were living in Army accomodation in Bahrain and she could only get a ticket back for herself so she left!!

Was she right? Was she wrong? Who knows, BUT at the time she did what she thought was the best for everyone, and that Di is all any of us can do.

I am today the person I am because of of my past. I try to be fair, kind, considerate etc. I don't always suceed but I try. I am a product of my life experiences and there are many more "little events" like that I could use as excuses BUT I don't.

It's hard to accept things we have done or done to others BUT we can't undo them Di only move forward and try to make this world a better place :-)

From where I am standing you appear to be doing just that :-)

Sending you love and hugs.


PS And then when I had children I then REALLY understood why Mum left.