Saturday, 16 January 2010

An Apple a Day

According to new research, eating an apple a day can help significantly reduce the risk of bowel cancer.  I have no reason to doubt this.  However, one thing I'm learning very fast is that every person is different.  Cancer is aggressive and shows no mercy whether you've eaten an apple a day or not.  My burden of grief that I spoke about previously is related to my Dad.  He has advanced stage cancer of the colon a.k.a bowel cancer.  He was diagnosed 15 months ago and although he's had chemotherapy and surgery, the cancer has returned to such a degree, they're now only offering him palliative treatment.

Dad and Mum on Dad's 68th birthday (May 2009)

We only found this out a few days ago.  It's still sinking in.  I don't actually know what to do with myself.  This is from my perspective.  I can't even begin to talk about how this is affecting my Dad and my Mum.  That's a whole other blog post.  Or my siblings and my children.

For me, I need something to get into.  I have great goals and hopes for 2010.  More crafty projects.  More art to create.  Revamping my website (its nearly finished).  New friends to make.  I'm overwhelmed by the blessings in my life.  And yet, I do have this huge burden of grief.  I can't stop for a moment and think about how it could engulf me.  I need to keep moving.  I know one day it'll catch up but for now.  I have to keep busy and carry on as normal.  My Dad said to us that we should all live our lives "one day at a time".  Enjoy that day.  Tomorrow's not promised to any of us.  I'm honouring my Dad now, through the coming days, weeks, months, by living for today as best I can.

You may recall a recent blog post here about an Art Journal course I signed up for at Pickleberry Papercraft.  It started Thursday and I actually didn't know whether to go having just found out about my Dad.  I knew though that it would do me the world of good to go and I might even make some new friends, which I need to do, and enjoy myself.  Just a few hours not to think about what's ahead for my Dad and coping with my grief.  I was somewhat nervous at the thought of meeting new people and venturing out.

My life's been a roller coaster ride for a good 10 yrs now with one thing and another.  In and out of various seasons.  Some quite painful.  Some resulting in me ending up more or less as a hermit, in my own little world.  It was time for me to step out and meet new people.  I shouldn't have worried as everyone made me feel welcome including Kate, who owns Pickleberry Papercraft, and Jane, who is teaching the workshop.

I loved the workshop.  It was so satisfying to work in such a creative environment.  I was focused and got right into it.  It was what I needed and it inspired me forwards for all my other creative endeavours.  Maybe even new friendships in the making and new opportunities for me.  More about that another time.

Oh and I'm eating an apple a day.


Ursula said...

Dear Di,

After reading your "Burden of Grief" post, I was terribly afraid that it was related to either your mother's (I hope I'm wrong here, but I seem to remember that your mother is ill too?) or your father's illness. I'm so sorry to hear these awful, awful news. There's just nothing anyone could say to make it better. I want you to know though that many people out there are rooting for your Dad, your family and of course for you. Please know you are not alone. If there's ever something you want to talk about, but don't know who to talk to, please know I'm here anytime. As I'm sure are many others too.

Much love and many hugs to you, your Dad and your entire family.

Love you very much,

Sarah said...

Sorry to hear about your Dad Di.I am glad you still went to your course anyway-your Dad is right-one day at a time is all we can do.
Sarah x

mystele said...

oh,di. i will be in prayer...i am so glad that you are continuing to live- to soak all of life in, the joy and the pain. what wise words from your dad.

my dad went through this, too. you're not alone.

Pickleberry Papercrafts said...

Di, it was lovely to meet you on Thursday, it was fun! Glad you enjoyed :)