Thursday, 15 March 2012

Starting from Scratch

Oh my goodness, what can I say?  How stupid am I?  Do I listen to my own advice?  My own wisdom.  Do I practice what I preach?  I thought I did but clearly I don't.

I lost my whole website.  My online store.  Everything.  The lot.  Gone. Forever.  No more.  Non-existent.  Yes, I do back up but my last back up was a couple of months ago.  I've been out of it and working so hard to try and re-brand, make new stuff, deal with grief and so and so forth.  Not good enough.  You can't miss any back-ups.  Not one.

It appears there was a misunderstanding between me and my hosting company.  I'm still not sure what's happened.  I thought my hosting account was set on automatic renewal.  They told me it wasn't and when I didn't renew, after 30 days, they deleted my website off their server.  Fair enough.  I guess.  But what about emails to let me know?  Yes, apparently they sent them.  But no, nothing.  Not in my spam folder.  Nowhere to be seen.

I cried.  I actually cried and sobbed.  Heartbroken.  All my hard work.  My whole store.  Everything gone.  All my tutorials, products, blog posts (on WordPress).  Gone.  I haven't looked at my backed up database yet.  I know I'll be able to pull some stuff off of it.  After the initial shock and tears and a tantrum - kicking myself for my own incompetence at not doing the last 2 backups - I decided to go out.  I was meant to be meeting my daughter anyway for our usual walk.  I knew I had to go and it would do me the world of good.  To walk off my frustration and anger.  To be in the sunshine.  To get exercise and figure things out as I walked.

And I did.  I had been re-designing my website.  I had decided that WordPress wasn't working for me and so I started to put a new website design together and re-launch it in the next few weeks.  Following on from doing Module 2 of "The Art & Business of Surface Pattern Design", I realised I wasn't 100% happy with my brand and new business.  I knew I wasn't ready to launch my business.  Not really.  I knew I needed to re-think my online store and the products.

Losing my website may well be a blessing in disguise.  I have nothing to work from now.  I have to work from scratch.  It's a good thing.  It seems huge.  I'm determined to make this a positive experience.  To turn it around and make the best of it.  And I will.

New logo.  New website.  New store.  New products.  It seems the right time.  Its been up and down like this for a number of years as I've battled with huge changes in my personal life.  More so in the past 2 yrs after losing my parents.  I thought I was ready to move on before but clearly it wasn't the right time.  Maybe it is now.  No is the time.  From scratch.


Sarah said...

Maybe, somehow, subconsciously, you knew that you were not happy with your website and so thiis happened! It is a possibility anyway-and, as you say, the only way to go now is a fresh start-how exciting! And hi by the way!

Stephanie said...

Oh my dear Diane, I am sorry I just saw this. I hope you are able to get back some of your shop. {{{{{Hug}}}}}

Tink said...

The only way to go is up, but good Lord it's not easy, I know. I am at a point in my life where you deal with one disaster take a deep breath and the next one arrives. People say it's good it will bring changes but what happened to 'catching your breath' for a moment and have some normalcy in your life? A boring routine seems a luxury.

I sometimes look at other people and can be so jealous that they lead a normal life, going out, a movie, dinner with friends, a walk in the park and all that seems beyond my reach dealing constantly with one disaster, worry and grief after another.

I'm disabled and lost 4 friends last year with the same illness, Didn't even have time to come to an acceptance or grief when our house was flooded by a leaking dishwasher(for months probably) that caused toxic mold to form and we had to evacuate for 6 months living in a RV. We returned home 3 weeks ago. The house is a warzone with items cluttered everywhere.

Last nigh my Mac computer died. He was only 4 years old. Nothing indicated it was going to happen. I checked the disk a day before, screen started to fade and I figured the backlight needed to be replaced. Not so, when it arrived at the store the told me my HD died. The only thing that I did not back up was my music library. Was working on that. Alas, now need to buy a new one. Luckily all my scrap art work and photos were on a external drive.

I feel your pain, it's not so much the loss of a disk or a home or a friend, it's not being able to deal with the loss before a new one appears. One thing on top of another and pretty soon it seems so high and that you can not see very clearly anymore. Let alone think clearly. Being housebound and often bed bound I wish and long so much to go out in the fresh air for a walk and clear my mind. If only that was possible. Okay will stop the whining now and get on with it ;-)

Sending you strength, courage and wisdom.

Be well,