Saturday, 15 November 2008

Thinking Out Loud

At what point in my life did I first think that I'm not good enough? That I don't deserve to be happy or blessed? When did I get so insecure? I can't work out when it was that I got such a low self esteem and so fearful. That other people around me are better than me. Prettier. Thinner. Talented. Funnier. Sweeter.

I'm getting so tired of feeling this bad and I need it to stop now. I'm almost 45yrs old. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life so why are these demons still chasing me and clinging hold of me? I've decided that each day I'm going to fight them. Each day I'm going claim victory. I'm taking back my soul, my spirit, my self worth and confidence. I'm going to do all the things that I've dreamed about. I'm going to work so hard to stop the self loathing and self doubt. I'm going to enjoy the blessings in my life and pray through and work through the floods and fire that will come. I'm not going to drown and I'm not going to get burned.

Today is a new day.

4 comments:

SugarKitties said...

I am there, right there where you are? Is it something that has always been with us deep inside, or just hitting us in our 40's? I cannot
decide but I HATE it.
Maybe we should start an online support group for this you know?
Because I know we aren't the only ones :o(

Tami

mystele said...

wow. i'm in it with you all the way.

Shalae said...

Hang in there Diane! You are talented, beautiful and an amazing women. I see all that you've gone through in your whole life, and am amazed how you came through it all. You've got the ability to overcome this too. You are of divine worth, Satan would tell you otherwise. Don't listen! Listen to the one that created you.

Deirdra Doan said...

Good for you! Go for it, it is your life and that lie of unloving thoughts against yourself are not your own. The Spirit of God is Love, Power and a Sound mind!

Have you ever read Pastor Henry's Wrights Book "The More Excellent Way"? Please check it out.

It is about how thoughts not of God can cause disease and emotional problems and how to get victory!

If you want to hear him you can listen by downloading MP3 15 min radio interview of him. His work has changed my and my husbands lives.

Henry Wright end of Nov and begining of Dec. 2005 archieve radio shows
http://www.sidroth.org/site/PageServer?pagename=rad_archives_2005

The Monday show on Nov. 28 th 2005 talks about self hatred thoughts. But I would start with the first week first.

Let me know if you enjoyed him or have any questions.
Blessings...