Following on from yesterday's post, I wanted to share some more thoughts. Inspired by some interesting art healing passages in a book I bought recently called "Taking Flight" by Kelly Rae Roberts, I came up with a list of things I'd do if I wasn't afraid. There's obviously so many other things I'd do but this is specifically in relation to my creative endeavours and my recent need to create. To draw and paint. To make things.
I don't know why, at this point in my life, that I have a such a strong desire to do create. Now of all times. In my middle age. I've been through an awful lot over the past years from seeing my brother being convicted of a crime he didn't commit, the break up of my 20 yr marriage after my husband told me he wanted to be a woman and then more recently my beloved Dad getting cancer.
Oh and I recently re-married after meeting the true love of my life (who happens to be a professional artist! Whoohoo!). Some of these intense emotions have triggered needs in me that were buried deep. Suffocated. Hidden. Healing is there. It's happening. Slowly. Freedom of my spirit and soul is coming. I can feel it.
I'm wondering if the need to be so creative has always been there. As a child, I watched both my parents create.
My father's an artist and loved sketching as well as painting with his oils. My mother used to make things for my dolls and Sindy. New home. Beds. Clothes. Anything. I loved sitting at the table with her making things. I can still smell the paints and glue. Mum's also a published poetess. It's there. I know it. My grandmother also played a huge part in my childhood and taught me how to knit and crochet and to cook. All so very creative and so lovingly taught.
And so onto my list of things I'd do if I wasn't afraid:
- I'd draw and paint with abandon
- draw and paint with no thought of the end result
- I'd create for the sake of creating
- for the creative process
- I want to draw, paint and create without any thought that it won't be good enough
- that I won't be accepted; that my art/creations won't be accepted (not sure by who or what!)
- I'd draw, paint, create just because that's what I want to do at that particular time
- I want to be able to create without any thoughts of whether or not it's "saleable"
I now need to move out those tent pegs and start creating without those fears. Today is the day. Now is the time. Slowly but surely I'll make inroads to making those creative dreams a reality. My heart's desire. I'm going to make the above list a list of goals.. dreams.. achievable.. workable..and without fear.