Fanning the Flames

Sometimes we just need a bit of motivation.  A little kick up the bum.  Something to inspire us.  I know I do.  More so recently.  I'm fairly certain grief plays alsorts of tricks on your mind and affects our emotions in many ways.  It's getting easier.  Every day is better.  My confidence in who I am and what I'm doing is growing each day.  But it doesn't hurt to have a bit of a push.

I've always struggled with a lack of self-confidence.  I think it stems from getting married really young and having kids almost immediately.  Listening to media (at the time - I'm talking almost 30 yrs ago now), that I wasn't "enough" just being a Mum at home with my kids.  Yes, I had a couple of part-time jobs to supplement our income but I never had a career per se.

Me.  Just turned 20yrs. My eldest child, Daniel.  Bliss.

Truth be told, I was blissfully happy at home with my babies.  During those years I pursued my love of colour, art and design through fulfilling hobbies.  I loved my crochet.  Sketching in my notepads or any scrap of paper that was around - it was a crazy household.  Web graphic design on my computer.  Books and books and magazines about Photoshop, art, graphic design.  I absorbed them all.  I had four kids aged 3 and under!  Including newborn twins.  Yes, it was crazy.  Busy.  Tiring.  Blissful. Depressing.  I envied those mums that seemed to juggle career and family.  I just couldn't do it.  Funny thing is, I never really wanted to.  I just had that feeling that I was "supposed" to.

I had many down days.  I lost sight of me.  And now, when I look back, I actually think that was ok.  I was ok.  I still kept hold of my loves and passions even if they were just grabbed moments.  It got easier as they got older.  I was happy to be Mummy.  That time goes by so quickly.

My beautiful children.  Grown up.  This was taken in 2008.

Fast forward to today.  My eldest is now 28yrs old.  My second son is 26yrs old.  My twins are almost 25yrs.  I went to art school as a mature student.  I've been divorced.  Remarried.  Moved away.  Moved back.  Lost both my parents.  And everything in between.  Its been a journey, for sure.

I'm excited about my life right now.  My art.  My designs.  My passions.  My confidence is growing.  I'm learning that it was ok to be a stay at home Mum.  When I look at my children now, as grown adults and all that they are... all that they are achieving, I know I did the right thing.  I know it was right for us as a family for me to be at home with them.  My ex and I are incredibly proud of them.  So now, it's time for me.  To let go of those insecurities and go with my passion.

I'm reading an excellent book by Danielle LaPorte, "The Firestarter Sessions" which I'm finding so helpful, insightful and downright inspiring.  Talk about getting motivated.  Its another little push for me, in the right direction.

I first came across Danielle via her initial online e-course of the same name as her book, early last year.  That was awesome enough.  I had a notebook full of my "to do" and "what to do next" lists.  Ideas, plans.  At the time I was dealing with the loss of my Dad and then Mum got sick and so I was all over the place.  It was all in the back of my mind though.  I knew I'd be reaching deep again once I got through the trauma of that time.

So when I saw she was releasing her book by the same name, I was curious.  A little worried that it would be too much like the e-course and I didn't really want to spend money again.  Having read a couple of reviews, I didn't think twice and bought it for my Kindle - I love the gratificaction of instant download!

I'm about half way through.  I love her energy, love and passion.  It's infectious. Learning that it's ok to go with your passion.  And it's now always about what you can do but what you love to do.  Yes, it's been a great dose of motivation and flame fanning!


I thorougly recommend it.  Oh and it's not just about business.  It's a blueprint for living your life soulfully and with passion.