Thursday, 29 October 2009

Art Therapy?

I've often heard the term "art therapy" but not really taken much notice of it before now.  Never really explored it or given it much thought when I've heard the term used.  Until now.  These are just my thoughts tumbling onto this page.  Nothing I've researched.  It could all be utter rubbish.  However, I've noticed a change in me since I started the Gut Art workshop.  Every time I sit down to draw or paint, my mind becomes flooded with alsorts of memories, hurts, emotional mixed media.  Happy, sad, lonely, delighted, wistful, ecstatic, hopeful, dreamy, frustrated, alive, real, deep sadness, grief, and so it goes on.  Not every time.  Not every emotion.

I feel open and exposed somehow.  My humaness seems frail and fragile.  I've always wanted to paint.  I've always wanted to do something creative.  I've always loved being a homemaker and enjoyed making things.  Never really looked seriously at painting as a hobby though.  Too much to think about.  Too much when trying to raise 4 small children.  From babies to teenagers.  Now that's a huge undertaking.  You'd think after doing that, I could take on pretty much anything! ha!  And I believe I can.  My precious children are in their early twenties.  Flown the nest.  Now this mummy needs to find a way to fulfil those hopes and dreams of wanting to paint, sculpt and so much more.  And she is.

So why then, is it so difficult?  Is it this particular workshop?  Is it because we're exploring how to find our authentic voices?  My authentic voice.  What is my groove?  What is it that makes anything I create, "me"?  Trying to find me in my creations.  My style.  Its there somewhere?  And in all of that, somehow, ghosts and goblins are being exposed and exorcised out of my life.  I'm excited.  I know this is a good thing.  However, it's tough some days.  The tears just flow for no reason.  Some days I'm just staring at a "blank canvas".  Not knowing how to even start.  Where will it go?  And then there are pages of just paint.  Nothing more.  Layers of colours and texture.  No subject, no meaning, nothing but paint.  My paint.  My brush strokes.  My healing.

Is this art therapy?


Sarah said...

It certainly sounds as if it might be. I like the way you describe the process you are going through. It sounds difficult but well worth it!

mystele said...

it's your beautiful, difficult, worth it all journey...and you know that the deepest freedom is calling you. it's that freedom that causes the resistance...remember that God will not cause confusion or dismay. but the Spirit will lead you to freedom even though the road is arduous.

blank canvases, pages with only paint and's ok. it's a start, and that's something.

some days it will feel like walking through deep mud puddles. on those days, dance your heart away. take a walk. laugh hard. then try to throw on some color and paint something simple. like a circle or a star. see where that takes you. your body needs time to learn that you mean business.

and the creator is there. and it's for freedom that he set you free. xo

Boo said...

Art definitely helps with healing ... Biteena made a "grieving woman" out of clay on a long weekend workshop after losing her son ... love to you, Boo xxx